Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Lobbying for new slang

Ok, so our teenage, hoodlum slang used today is getting old, politically incorrect and a bit tired. I thought it was time that we changed the trends up a bit and sparked a fire in our society. I introduce to you words that could replace some of our old language.

Old word: Retarded
Use: Something of low popularity or extremely low intelligence.
new word: Plutoed
Why: Pluto is starting to be used as an insult after scientists found out it was not a planet. Now people use it to show others how low value they are.

"You totally plutoed that test."

Old word: Gay
Use: Something of low popularity or extremely low intelligence.
new word: Birth
Why: I saw the movie Birth and it was atrocious. We can all agree that when something is Birth it is low value and lacking intelligence.

"You like N'sync? That's birth."

Old word: Bad A$$
Use: When someone is tough and able to accomplish dangerous feats with little limitation.
new word: Ninja
Why: Ninja's are making a comeback as the most amazing creatures on Earth. Plus, there is no non profane way to say bad a$$.

"That guy came in with two shotguns and he was totally ninja."

old word: douche bag
use: A jerk with high arrogance
new word: Slap chop
why: it just sounds fun to call others a slap chop.

"You made her buy your dinner? Stop being a slap chop."

old word: f***ing
use: It's a catalyst word that intensifies the word that comes after it.
new word: Frocking
Why: The old F word literally means to allow the king consent to rape your bride. I'm tying to get away from that. It sounds like we just need a crunchy intensifier before a word.

"That last mogul was frocking awesome!"

If you agree with this post then please do your part and start spreading these words. If by chance you hate these new words, then stop being a total slap chop because these words are frocking awesome.

Linguini. Fettucini. Bikini.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Personally, I think that slap chop is brilliant. I was disappointed, however, that there was no mention of the term, "Ditch Doy". I expected better, of you Mike. That's birth.